One Part Good

One part good, and one to two parts, well, you'll see. Janell blogs on daily life, her pup, her thoughts, cool net finds, fun in the Lou, and an occasional top ten list. Read, drink Jameson, and enjoy.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

To Nebraska!

Moving to Nebraska, gonna eat me a lot of corn. And I'm planning on seeing a lot of this while I'm there:

Friday, July 28, 2006

Further Proof that I am no longer in charge of my house.

Lucy committing the crime:

Lucy pleading her innocence despite being caught red-handed:

Lucy, joyous to have just received probation:

Lucy, rubbing it in my face that she rules the house:

It is official. The puppy has taken over my house.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

...And one part punk rock

So, my pseudo-brother, i.e. the guy who looks like me, thinks like me, picks on me, likes to beat me up, but is in all reality no relation, Josh is in this band, Fifth Row Felons. A while back, they played, here:

Blueberry Hill. The famous one, you know, where Chuck Berry plays? Anywho, the show is all hard punk rock with lots of hootenanny, but fun all the same. His girlfriend and I are always the only ones non-punk saying "Awww!" when he plays.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Top 4 things the Lovely M. Mangas has said to me in the last 6 hours:

(and I quote)

1. I really wish my nunchucks wouldn't have gotten stolen.

2. "Man, you know what name i think is stupid? Wolf Blitzer."
"Yeah," I said, "that is stupid! That probably isn't even his real name. He just thinks it will make him be taken more seriously in the news world. That's like me calling myself Panther Smackdown".

3. Hey, did I tell you our friend Josh is in a drag show tomorrow at the gay club in Junction CIty. It's Asian themed and it's called Memoirs of a GAYsha.

4. Holy nonsense batman! THis shit in the middle east is really starting to chap my ass.

...And one part wringing my apron.

Have you been watching this Lebanon - Israel stuff? Did Bush say that he supports Israel? So much for diplomacy. Can't we just stay out of it all? This is scary stuff.

Photo and talent courtesy of the lovely M.Mangas.

...and one part sweltering hot hot heat.

This weekend, I’ll finally be checking out the New Busch Stadium! The Cardinals play the LA Dodgers, who happen to be in the middle of the NL West shuffle right now. I hear the ball park is amazing and the views of the Arch are beautiful. I can’t wait to share it all with you! I’ll be sitting behind home plate, club level (The Man finally pays out…), so you can watch for me on TV. The heat index for Saturday is 115’, so hopes are that we don’t spontaneously combust.

I'm not normally a huge Card's fan, but I love baseball, period. Who knows? Maybe Pujols will hit another game-winning walk-off homer tomorrow.

Monday, July 10, 2006

...With one piece missing.

Today for lunch, I brought a fruit cup and one-half of a leftover Einstein's Tasty Turkey Bagel sandwich for lunch. I open the wrapping carefully knowing it's full of turkey, lettucey, cucumbery, sprout-like, onion and chive schmeary, tomatoey gooey goodness, when VOILA! Someone has taken a bite out of my Yummy, wholesome, good for you, low fat, fill-you up tasty turkey on an Everything bagel sandwich. B may never ever hear the end of this.

Hide the leftovers. They are not safe in your kitchen.

FYI: If you don't know Einstein's, you definitely should.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

...And one part your server for the evening

I used to waitress and bartend. I only did this for a short while, and I was most likely terrible at it, but I’ve learned several things while serving. For one, waiting induces alcoholism. I mean, people would go to work, get drunk, and start practicing southern accents on their tables, saying things like, “I’m from Keen-says” and “Oh, pardon me, may-yam, would ya’ll care for another caber-naye?” It never turned out well.

Regardless, waiting was hard work, drunk or sober. Novice servers are often reduced to tears trying to keep eight tables’ orders, seating arrangements, drinks, specials, etc. etc. straight. And that’s without the pressure from the kitchen. If a server makes a teensy mistake, he or she is not only ridiculed by the table (“I’m on a low-carb diet! I wanted mashed potatoes, not baked!”), but also by the kitchen (“Did you put that order in right? Why didn’t you tell me? I’m busy; I don’t have time for that! Oh, wait; here are some mashed potatoes right here. Get it straight!”). Throw into all that stress the sexual tension (inevitably all of the servers have dated one another at any given moment), short tempers, and a Jewish boss who tells you that he’s (and I quote) “Jesus Effing Christ” so what he “says goes around here!” and you might imagine that one poor server, half lit, could make a mistake. I’m just saying.

Top 7 Stories from My Experience as a Waiter that have scared me out of waiting\

  1. Worth repeating, from the boss: “I am Jesus effing Christ and what I say goes around here and when I say jump you will say how high and if I say to charge the college kids $6 per plate they use to share, you’ll charge $6 per plate that they use!” What?!
  2. “Um, some dog just did his business on the patio and it needs to be cleaned up. Whose section is it?” Yeah, I’ll clean that and bring your fancy pasta dish right up.
  3. “This ain’t no drink! I want more vodker. This ain’t no shot!” More ice, more liquor, same response except this time, swinging her dreads in my face. In. My. Face. Oh, yes, ma’am, I’d be happy to bring you some more “vodker” and charge you for a double… Oh, that will be fine? Okay ma’am, enjoy your cocktail.
  4. It’s my first time carrying a tray of drinks. In a loud, busy room where tables are packed and tension is high. A slip, a wobble, Crash, bang, clatter, “Did I spill that ON you sir?” That loud busy room is now silent. I can only guess the color of my face.
  5. I have to tell 5 large men that they can’t park their Lexus next to our patio and play their music while they sit there as it’s disturbing the other patrons. No one, not even the manager will do it. Patrons are complaining. I ask nicely. I’m threatened with a gun and a guy says he’s going to shoot me. I tell him his music must be very important to him and grab their next round. I’m still alive!
  6. “Hey! You’ve just been quadruple-sat. Here’s the bottle of xanax…”
  7. A group of lovely elderly ladies come in for lunch. We all know what this means. “We’ll take two soups du jour with four spoons to share, two hot teas with four mugs to share, one diet soda with no ice, and none of it will be good enough, hot enough, clean enough, or big enough.”

Overall, nobody puts it better than this guy – Waiter at . I highly recommend you check it out, especially if you ever waited tables or had to deal with interesting customers.